Stuck in a Rut

I don't know what's going on with me lately but like ever since my 27th birthday, I just feel like Im stuck in a rut I have no friends or much of a social life. Most of my time is spent in the house except for the rare occassions im invited somewhere or take the kids to the park. I mean I do stuff, I have hobbies like sewing I love fashion & making clothes and I work and go to school. Yet for some reason I feel lonely hubby and I dont ever spend time together without the kids and the few times we have he got super drunk and was very embarrasing so I kind of dislike going places with him cause I never know if he's going to make an ass out of himself. I feel so pathetic trying to make friends and impress females I dont really like and that dont really like me. Sigh I dont know I guess I just want a companion or girlfriend because my hubby is never there for me. Its weird cause I want a female friend but at the same time im scared because I dont trust anyone. Im a sad case however as im writing this Im feeling better guess I just needed to get it off my chest so I can move past this feeling lol. Anyways I will continue to pray and just be myself and be happy that im blessed to have 2 beautiful lil boys and hubby that although drives me crazy he really truly genuinely loves me so I guess in all actuality things are how they should be. That's it for now Muah:) Smooches